CHANGING MY VIEWS

PARENTS OF SEX OFFENDERS:  PROCLAIMING THE SHAME

It was not until I had a personal experience that I changed my views about sex offenders.  Since 2002, Like millions of Americans moms and Dads, it has always been my greatest fear to reveal that I could be a parent of a sex offender.

Well, it happens to be true.  And guess what, I not only feel my son is innocent of the crime for which he is convicted, I am guilty of the silence resulting from shame.  Well, not any more!  

First, I want to use this site to call out to other parents, friends, and loved ones in my position.  I don't want to castigate victims however.  There are almost as many victims as there are offenders.  You see, most convicted sex offenders ARE guilty.  Nonetheless, they have parents who suffer the pain of shame, guilt and powerlessness.

Society has somehow demonized this issue so much that the punishment, too often, exceeds the crime.  Victims may not feel this way, but guess what.....?.... there are victims who have remained silent for the same reasons ..... shame, guilt and powerlessness.  One reason is because we are so much a part of a sexually charged society.  Victims who once believed in being "sexy" have been deceived by the twisted minds of men and women who seek personal and financial pleasures at the expense of children, teens, runaways, and women who are vulnerable for many reasons.  Predators who feel that they can get pleasure at other folks' expense don't see anything wrong with hurting powerless people and will kill them to mask their dastard deeds.

But there's another group, not to be valued as better or worse, that may be victims themselves.    These are the ones that many parents have fought to liberate, exonerate or simply comfort believing that their sons and daughters were innocent from the start.  Optimistically, it has been revealed that most convicted sex offenders who insisted upon their innocence ... and stuck to their stories .... were found to be truthful.  Sadly, some revelations were made after death sentences were carried out, lengthy prison stints, or with public outcries.  Recovery from this experience, no matter what, is difficult and often results in post traumatic stress because of treatment by courts, officials, public opinion and even ostracism by family and friends.

I thought I'd put this out to test the field of public opinion.  For you, who are parents....I'd like to know, what do you think? These are some questions you might want to discuss   

For Parents of Convicted Sex Offenders ..........

1.  What was your experience as your son or daughter went through court, prison, probation or life in general?  

2.  How did you feel every time you thought about your convicted son or daughter?  

3.  What was your reaction whenever a person made a disparaging comment about the issue of sex offenses?

For  Victims or Their Parents........

Do You Feel That The Family or the Accused/Convicted Feel Remorse of Sympathy for the Victim?

If  You Were you a victim yourself, Did You, or How Did You Overcome the Tragedy of Abuse?  

Until I became a parental figure in this societal matter, I could not understand the pain of either side of  this issue.   Right now I am reporting to you that my views are changing.  Because of my son's experiences I am growing stronger in knowledge, understanding and empathy for the accused, convicted and exonerated.  There is no winner or loser.  Lives are still being ruined by this sad issue.

What can WE do to stop this crime?  Stop the Victimization of Girls, Boys, Women and, yesssss.... Men too!